…When Loud Talkers Are Moments Away From Me Accidentally Spilling My Coffee on Them at Starbucks

Man has sex with woman. Man gets up to go to the bathroom. Man gets confused on the way back and walks through wrong door. Wrong door leads to bedroom of woman’s roommate. Man gets into bed with roommate and initiates sex. Woman responds because the room is dark and she thinks it’s her boyfriend. Rape accusation ensues. The Daily Telegraph leaves out the part where Niles declares his love for Daphne and someone mistakes Frasier for a homosexual. Via Fark.com

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Launching the Bush Administration’s campaign to require government label warnings on websites with sexually explicit content (but not limited to child pornography) …Attorney General Alberto Gonzales on Thursday issued what he termed a “wake-up call” to the growing problems of pedophiles prowling the Internet and online images of sexual abuse of children. Gonzales described the depravity and horror of criminal acts against children in unusually graphic detail, while fellow cabinet members quietly inserted their hands in their pants pockets and imagined Haley Joel Osment doing sit-ups in his bikini briefs. Scare Tactics via CNN

Nick Lachey is talking. And the only reason we’re reading is because the shirt’s off. Rolling Stone


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