Archive for October, 2008

4081 Songs… How Many Workouts?

Posted in Uncategorized on October 27, 2008 by Tv Food and Drink

In order to justify the glut of songs I have crammed into my iPod, I’m going to listen to them all … one by one… everytime I am at the gym and see how many workouts it takes me to get through them all.  This excludes workouts that are solely about the treadmill because I require particular up-tempo and longtime favorites to get me through 30 minutes of absolute anguish. 

WORKOUT #1:

B.L.U.R.E.M.I – kind of a throwaway for the band, like Bank Holiday or something that would exist between two real songs on a Janet Jackson album, but makes it look on the track listings that you’re getting a WHOLE LOT OF SONGS for your money.  I prefer Coffee and TV, anything off The Great Escape, You’re So Great, Crazy Beat, and Star-Shaped

Ba Moutin En Ti Bo Dou Dou  – the Orchestre Creole Delvi – I have no idea where I got this from, but it’s peppy – something you might hear while visiting the lame half of Epcot that’s supposedly all about different cultures of the world, but is really about how many foreign beers you can down before you fall into the lagoon.

Baby’s Coming Back – Jellyfish – ah, I’ve listened to this song so much in my life, I can’t even describe why I like it – it’s peppy, it reminds me of college, it has a really stupid video, and it’s something to put on when you’re stoned, which I wasn’t at the gym, but it was still fun.  My friend, E, gets stoned at the gym all the time and says it’s great but I think I would just fall asleep on any piece of equpiment I’d have to lie down on to use.

Baby Elephant Walk – Henry Mancini –  l ike Henry Mancini!  I have a three-disk collection!  Really.  And if you go here you can hear how I used it on my website in 2003.  Jazzy, upbeat and fun, plus it’s always a good time when you’re thinking about baby elephants!

Baby Hold On – The Dixie Chicks – I’ve been a fan ever since I was working at Ellen and I got to watch them in rehearsals.  The lead singer (name?) has a terrific voice and she gave it her all in the rehearsals.  Everyone on stage was applauding like crazy.

Baby I’m a Star – Prince – sounds like everything else on Purple Rain – “I ain’t got a lot…. but I can make you feel good… inside… blah blah blah… your juices…. now… something something.”

Baby, It’s Cold Outside – Bette Midler and James Caan.  Yes, I saw For The Boys.  Yes, I bought the soundtack. 

Baby, Let Me Share My Love – Terence Trent D’Arby is hot.  He probably still is, but he doesn’t go by that name anymore.

Baby Mine – Bette Midder – Yes, I saw Beaches.  Yes, I bought the soundtrack.  Oy.

Baby Monitor – James Newton Howard from Signs – I have a lot of JNH.  Love him.  Whimsical, suspenseful and mysterious.

Baby, Baby, Baby – Joss Stone – Of course, someone had to call a song this.

Baby, It’s Gonna Cost You – Frenchy – you’re drunk in a room with a killer jazz combo and a hot cupcake singer with an Aqua Net follicle tower on her head shaking her rear for all it’s worth and… well, she might be 20… she might be 50, but her voice is hot and sultry and well… again, you’re drunk so just enjoy it. 

Babycakes – 3 of A Kind – random gay club shit.  Heard one, heard ’em all.  I don’t go to foam parties or do ex, or hit places called Cherry, Styx, or B Street anymore so this doesn’t really stir my batter the way it once might have.

Back at Your Door – Maroon 5 – I’m already out of songs that start with Baby?  Go figure.  Why do I have a Maroon 5 album?  I know I didn’t buy it.  Is this the band with the lead singer everyone thinks is so hot?  I have never heard this song before.  It’s not bad.

Back in Baby’s Arms – Patsy Cline – ah, Patsy snuck in another Baby… this song is fun to listen to, and it makes me want to be on a horse.  Once I actually was on a horse and it went ape shit and ran right into a barber wire fence.  That’s all.

Back in the Car Park – The Lilac TIme – this is the kind of song you might listen to 300 times in a row after your rommate commits suicide in college.  It’s just like me to have it.  From about 1995-2002, I spent a lot of time listening to this morose sad-guitar, light candles under your bedsheet tent because you so don’t conform and no one understands you. 

Back in the U.S.S.R. – The Beatles from Love

Back in the U.S.S.R. – The Beatles from Greatest Hits (DIsc 2) – I can’t get Disc 1 to load on my iTunes

Back on the Chain Gang – The Pretenders – can’t miss.  Laura introduced me to them in high school.  Reason #1432 to love Laura.

Bad – Michael Jackson – no one should be near me when this song comes on, cuz I dance… hard and sad.  I wipe my nose a lot too because he did that and it looked cool.

The Bad Beginning – James Newton Howard – from Lemony Snicket – this makes you want to write a Harry Potter novel or something with mythical midgets or creatures with a lot of heads protecting a sack with a magic diamond or some such shit inside it.  Listen to this when you’re at the grocery store, then try NOT pretending that the Capri Sun will give you the power of future-sight if you grab it before the fat lady does.

A Bad Dream – Keane – Have you heard a Keane song… it sounds like that.

Bad Habit – Joss Stone – I swear to god I must have stolen this cd from someone.  I know who she is.  I think she likes to perform in bare feet like that girl from Roxette that looked like an 80’s Bond vixen.  I don’t like this person.  She’s just a little too into singing for me.  It’s like this… I get it… you’re white and you’ve got soul… yeah I understand… Ben and Matt are best friends… ok coming in loud and clear… Cyndi Lauper is unusual…. aha it all makes perfect sense… Robin Williams might be unpredictable on The Tonight Show.  Got it.

Bad Luck – Sacred Spirit from an album called Jazzy Chill Out.  Kind of says it all, right?

A Bad Note – Outkast from the soundtrack to Idlewild.  More filler, but it’s 8 minutes of filler.  You keep waiting for something interesting to actually start, but it never does.  It’s like the musical equivalent of The Happening.

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Preventing workplace harassment video (all 3 hours of it)

Posted in GSN Live, television on October 13, 2008 by Tv Food and Drink

Veronica doesn’t mind flirting with the boss to make a little extra money…

Ramon is concerned that other employees are treating him and Alan differently since learning about their relationship…

Jason is concerned that his relationship with Alice might have gotten out of hand last week at the conference in Vegas.  On the last night, they decided to go out to a club and they had a few cocktails and Alice started, ahem… “dirty dancing” with him, whispering in appropriate things and then grabbed his… (gulp)… rear end!

Catherine, who is 62, has a problem with Margaret who’s 50.  Margaret calls Catherine “granny” or “old lady.”  When Catherine recalled a show she enjoyed as a child, Margaret said, “I didn’t know they had television in the stone age!”

Walter is worried that Alma is going to retaliate against him after he reported to HR that she is always rubbing Brad’s shoulders, especially since Alma has started excluding him from meetings about the upcoming big project…

Gina wore tight jeans and a t-shirt that seemed about two sizes too small to work, and then had the nerve to file a complaint about the men who made comments about her body…

…on and on and on and on.  I’m going home to watch porn (and since I am neither advocating or criticizing porn, nor am I offering an unwelcome invitation for others to view porn with me, this statement is completely appropriate for me to make on a personal blog that can, however, be viewed by supervisors and subordinates within the workplace.  If you are unsure if these policies apply to you in your workspace, please contact your human resources manager for clarification.  Thank you!)